One thing I have always wondered is what is depression? Yes something isn't alright in the brain but what is happening and what causes it. There has to be cause and affect to make this worse. I think this week I learned that anxiety is feelings that aren't actually happening, but we will get to that later. Back to depression, I believe depression is no one loves me, life is miserable, and it will never change. But I kept thinking that what comes before that? And we talked about that in class. It is anxiety. Anxiety is a natural and normal response to danger. Stress is good, its our way to be good at things. For some reason we are always trying to get rid of it. People spend their whole lives trying to not be stressed. Anxiety is what stems the depression though. Anxiety are real feelings of stress. They overwhelm and can make us go into fight or flight. The moment when we feel there is no escape from that feeling is when depression is in affect. This is the hardest part because usually when you do have anxiety that bad you can't discern what is real and not real. This makes it difficult to understand what is and what isn't. This is where when you don't have the right tools that can help you get over that anxiety. Those tools takes a ton of practice to finally use them too. I have been working on them for years now. It isn't easy but it is something you can accomplish.
It was interesting that we talked about crisis as well this week. Unfortunately I was able to experience a crisis this week. My aunt has been battling cervical cancer for about 4 years now and passed away on Monday. I was heart broken and didn't want to do anything. I am away from family and cannot be there for the ones that need help. I am very close to my cousins and one of them is very emotional unstable. I went to class and we talked about crisis and depression. I was in shock because we talked about how we can either see it as an opportunity or as danger. I feel that our family will see it as an opportunity to grow, but only time will tell. Our lives will never be the same and it will change the dynamic of how we interact I believe. Which is hard to accept and to be okay with. I am willing to do that, I get to go home next week for the funeral and I guess I have anxiety how different the feeling will be going to their house. Although I know that it will be okay and that this was meant to happen. Overall, I believe Heavenly Father is so involved in our lives. I see this very hard situation and I see God in the middle of it. He is directing this and that is so miraculous. I have heard people say that all the time but I truly see it that way right now. He has his hands in our lives and is weaving them how they are meant to be. I know that he loves each of his children and that we can find comfort in knowing that he will never leave us. I think the most important part of this life I have, I have found truth in the gospel and in God. There are so many trials; depression, cancer, anxiety, and war. I still have my gospel through all and can overcome anything and everything with that.
Comments